Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
