dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
