something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
