She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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