A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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