Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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