I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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