Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
