Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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