He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
