i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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