Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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