Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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