how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
