dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
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Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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