Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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