He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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