I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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