Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
