when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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