Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Drake has all the answers
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize