At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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