Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
