Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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