last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
