whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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