i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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