Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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