Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize