the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
