So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this boner is exhausting
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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