C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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