You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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