i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
