feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
