In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
pray to the hookup gods
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
