he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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