I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you had me at cake vodka
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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