Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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