He is an equal opportunity slut.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
