HIV tests are more positive than that guy
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
