it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
