he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
