Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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