how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
