Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
