Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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