So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
