I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
