I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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