i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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