Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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