How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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