I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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