i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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