I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
