Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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