He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
