So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
