dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
