if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
