I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
