I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
