There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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