So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
