Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
a search helicopter?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
