he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
