Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
