I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
