she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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