i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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