he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
PANTIES FOUND
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
