Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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