if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize